When You're Having Fun

Are you joking? Thanksgiving is NOT in two days, is it? I know life has been busy and stressful and awesome all at the same time, but seriously, where did the past few months go? I feel like I just moved into my apartment and I have to keep reminding myself that was almost three months ago...

So, since the holidays are upon us that also means that finals are right around the corner. Of course I don't have to take any final exams, but I do have to write two research papers and make some revisions to my creative writing assignments.* I'm actually starting early (in comparison to any paper I ever wrote as an undergrad). My two papers are due in my Literature of the American Prison class and Victorian Culture and Society class, due December 12 and 14, respectively. Why am I telling you this? Well, for one, this is my blog and I'll write what I damn well please. For two, and the real reason, is that it is currently 9am on November 22 and I am sitting in the library, mentally preparing myself to spend the next six hours or so researching and catching up on homework. What better time to procrastinate a little and catch up on my private writing ventures?

I am trying to be on top of these papers, though. There are a lot of fun holiday parties coming up which I would like to enjoy myself at, and I just can't relax when I have serious work to do. Just because I can't relax doesn't necessarily mean I will get to it any faster, it just kind of ruins my day without actually forcing me to be productive. Don't tell me you've never done it to yourself.

Also, my grades are actually pretty decent. I won't post them yet, because they really don't matter until these papers are graded, since they count for roughly one-third of my total grade, and I don't want to jinx myself. Nor do I want to disappoint you. So for the sake of setting low expectations just so I can wow you next month when my grades are posted, right now I am getting straight D's.

I kind of went off on a tangent there. I wasn't writing to catch you up on my academic life, that just takes up the largest majority of my time and brain power, so sometimes it is hard to even think of other things. What I was starting to write about is how excited I am for the upcoming holidays.

Mostly I am excited to see my friends and family. This time last year I was in Cambodia, basically as far away as I could possibly get from everyone I know and love. That makes this holiday season all the more exciting! I've got lots of plans with friends coming up, not to mention Thanksgiving in Jersey with my mom's family. Today, in fact, I am hopefully having lunch with a good friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, which will be a nice break from the studying that I swear I am about to do.

I try to be fairly good at keeping up friendships. It is hard, as I am sure anyone reading this would agree with. After high school, and the again after college, people move, they get jobs, they get busy, and suddenly all the free time that we never realized we had, is gone. I know people tease Facebook a lot, but seriously, it helps me feel connected to friends in a way that I wouldn't be able to otherwise. I am not saying that social networking on your computer or phone should replace your face to face interaction, but it is a nice way to fill in the gaps. Over the past few years I have actually managed to locate a few old friends and get together with them which just wouldn't have happened if we didn't have that medium to reconnect.

Now this idea of reconnecting with people can backfire. For example, I noticed a friend of mine from college (definitely a friend, not just an acquaintance) was back of Facebook after being gone from it for some time. He had actually recently popped into my head for whatever reason and I had been thinking that since I no longer had his phone number I might never see him again. This would not be something I would cry over, but it was just a sad reminder of how easily people come and go in your lives. So when I saw him on Facebook not two weeks later, I was surprised and happy. I wrote on his wall that I had just been thinking of him, but didn't have his number, so this was excellent that I could say hi. I said we should get together sometime if he is still living in the area. (The last time I remember speaking to him was shortly after I got back from Asia and we tried to make plans, but they never happened for no particular reason)

I guess I said something wrong. The next thing I saw was a comment from his girlfriend (whom I have never met) which simply said "Not!" I wasn't sure how to take this. I actually thought that she was meaning not in the area any longer (this friend had moved elsewhere for a time, so him not living in PA now was not a far fetched idea). I was wrong. She meant "not a chance in hell you are hanging out with my boyfriend!" Did I say something wrong?

He messaged me to say that he had to delete my post, which upset his girlfriend, because "(t)o someone who never met you before or knows that we shared ---- classes it totally sounds like you were just some chick trying to pick me up"**. Did it? I wish I could actually put my exact quote up, but it is no longer out there in the cyber universe, not for access at least :)

Now, maybe it was saying I was thinking of him the other day. I am pretty sure the way I said it did not imply that I was thinking any thoughts at all, just that his name popped up in my memory and made me wonder what he was up to, much like happens all the time thinking of random friends and people. Maybe it was saying that I no longer had his phone number so I was happy to see him back on Facebook. Maybe it was saying we should get together to catch up. I GUESS a girlfriend COULD take these things as me trying to pick him up, but at 25 I certainly would hope I am a little above picking up random guys on Facebook (since she assumed that I didn't really know him very well). Besides the fact that I am in a very happy relationship myself, why does wanting to catch up with a friend have to have a romantic connotation? And although he only referred to us having classes, we were pretty decent friends. We had friends in common that all hung out together and we even stayed in touch a bit after college. Not much, Facebook chat here, a random phone call there. Is that not allowed now? 

Again, I digress. The point is, keeping up with friends is hard, but I think it is worth the work. My boyfriend came home last night very happy after catching up with his high school friends, some of whom he doesn't see often at all. I will be doing the same thing Thursday night, post family events.*** I am always happy to catch up with people, even people that I maybe wasn't that great of friends with before. I just like hearing about what people have been up to, what their plans are, talk about life, you know, connect with people. That is what friendship is all about, no? Here is your assignment, over the holiday weekend, call up a friend whom you have talked to in a while and see how they are doing. If they don't answer,leave them a voicemail. At least they will know someone cares what is going on in their life.

Since this will probably be my last post until after Thanksgiving, I guess I should include a list of things I am thankful for:

1. & 2. & 3. (in no particular order) Family (including my bunny), friends and my boyfriend
4. The support I receive from the above mentioned in my educational pursuits
5. Turkey
6. The opportunities I've had (and hopefully will again have) to travel
7. Rainy days when I need to study
8. The fact that the guy who is vacuuming the carpets in the library while I type will EVENTUALLY stop.
9. He stopped.
10. Having a job
11. Being able to think for myself and know when I am right and when I am wrong (most of the time)
12. Dive bars
13. Dive pizza places
14. Road trips
15. New friends that I am making in school
16. All of my friends who are mothers and fathers that are raising some awesome little bad asses to be smarter than we were
17. Prime numbers
18. Forgiveness
19. Patience
20. Being able to enjoy the fall weather and the changing of seasons

Obviously I could go on for hours of things I am thankful for since I am getting to a pretty good point in my life and I am feeling optimistic. And really, what more can you ask for?

"Some people are always grumbling
because roses have thorns;
I am thankful
that thorns have roses. "~Alphonse Karr

"Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so, let us all be thankful."
~ The Buddha







*To see examples of my attempts at short story writing, feel free to message / comment a request.

** If the friend to whom I am referring is reading this, I know you didn't mean anything by any of this. It just struck me as an interesting social commentary on the whole friendship schema that exists today. Also, if you think I referred to you in anyway too directly (I tried hard not to), let me know and I will edit the post accordingly.

*** Since only my friends seem to read this anyway, if you want some details on my get together Thursday night, let me know. Nothing big, but anyone who wants to join certainly can.