Are you joking? Thanksgiving is NOT in two days, is it? I know life has been busy and stressful and awesome all at the same time, but seriously, where did the past few months go? I feel like I just moved into my apartment and I have to keep reminding myself that was almost three months ago...
So, since the holidays are upon us that also means that finals are right around the corner. Of course I don't have to take any final exams, but I do have to write two research papers and make some revisions to my creative writing assignments.* I'm actually starting early (in comparison to any paper I ever wrote as an undergrad). My two papers are due in my Literature of the American Prison class and Victorian Culture and Society class, due December 12 and 14, respectively. Why am I telling you this? Well, for one, this is my blog and I'll write what I damn well please. For two, and the real reason, is that it is currently 9am on November 22 and I am sitting in the library, mentally preparing myself to spend the next six hours or so researching and catching up on homework. What better time to procrastinate a little and catch up on my private writing ventures?
I am trying to be on top of these papers, though. There are a lot of fun holiday parties coming up which I would like to enjoy myself at, and I just can't relax when I have serious work to do. Just because I can't relax doesn't necessarily mean I will get to it any faster, it just kind of ruins my day without actually forcing me to be productive. Don't tell me you've never done it to yourself.
Also, my grades are actually pretty decent. I won't post them yet, because they really don't matter until these papers are graded, since they count for roughly one-third of my total grade, and I don't want to jinx myself. Nor do I want to disappoint you. So for the sake of setting low expectations just so I can wow you next month when my grades are posted, right now I am getting straight D's.
I kind of went off on a tangent there. I wasn't writing to catch you up on my academic life, that just takes up the largest majority of my time and brain power, so sometimes it is hard to even think of other things. What I was starting to write about is how excited I am for the upcoming holidays.
Mostly I am excited to see my friends and family. This time last year I was in Cambodia, basically as far away as I could possibly get from everyone I know and love. That makes this holiday season all the more exciting! I've got lots of plans with friends coming up, not to mention Thanksgiving in Jersey with my mom's family. Today, in fact, I am hopefully having lunch with a good friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while, which will be a nice break from the studying that I swear I am about to do.
I try to be fairly good at keeping up friendships. It is hard, as I am sure anyone reading this would agree with. After high school, and the again after college, people move, they get jobs, they get busy, and suddenly all the free time that we never realized we had, is gone. I know people tease Facebook a lot, but seriously, it helps me feel connected to friends in a way that I wouldn't be able to otherwise. I am not saying that social networking on your computer or phone should replace your face to face interaction, but it is a nice way to fill in the gaps. Over the past few years I have actually managed to locate a few old friends and get together with them which just wouldn't have happened if we didn't have that medium to reconnect.
Now this idea of reconnecting with people can backfire. For example, I noticed a friend of mine from college (definitely a friend, not just an acquaintance) was back of Facebook after being gone from it for some time. He had actually recently popped into my head for whatever reason and I had been thinking that since I no longer had his phone number I might never see him again. This would not be something I would cry over, but it was just a sad reminder of how easily people come and go in your lives. So when I saw him on Facebook not two weeks later, I was surprised and happy. I wrote on his wall that I had just been thinking of him, but didn't have his number, so this was excellent that I could say hi. I said we should get together sometime if he is still living in the area. (The last time I remember speaking to him was shortly after I got back from Asia and we tried to make plans, but they never happened for no particular reason)
I guess I said something wrong. The next thing I saw was a comment from his girlfriend (whom I have never met) which simply said "Not!" I wasn't sure how to take this. I actually thought that she was meaning not in the area any longer (this friend had moved elsewhere for a time, so him not living in PA now was not a far fetched idea). I was wrong. She meant "not a chance in hell you are hanging out with my boyfriend!" Did I say something wrong?
He messaged me to say that he had to delete my post, which upset his girlfriend, because "(t)o someone who never met you before or knows that we shared ---- classes it totally sounds like you were just some chick trying to pick me up"**. Did it? I wish I could actually put my exact quote up, but it is no longer out there in the cyber universe, not for access at least :)
Now, maybe it was saying I was thinking of him the other day. I am pretty sure the way I said it did not imply that I was thinking any thoughts at all, just that his name popped up in my memory and made me wonder what he was up to, much like happens all the time thinking of random friends and people. Maybe it was saying that I no longer had his phone number so I was happy to see him back on Facebook. Maybe it was saying we should get together to catch up. I GUESS a girlfriend COULD take these things as me trying to pick him up, but at 25 I certainly would hope I am a little above picking up random guys on Facebook (since she assumed that I didn't really know him very well). Besides the fact that I am in a very happy relationship myself, why does wanting to catch up with a friend have to have a romantic connotation? And although he only referred to us having classes, we were pretty decent friends. We had friends in common that all hung out together and we even stayed in touch a bit after college. Not much, Facebook chat here, a random phone call there. Is that not allowed now?
Again, I digress. The point is, keeping up with friends is hard, but I think it is worth the work. My boyfriend came home last night very happy after catching up with his high school friends, some of whom he doesn't see often at all. I will be doing the same thing Thursday night, post family events.*** I am always happy to catch up with people, even people that I maybe wasn't that great of friends with before. I just like hearing about what people have been up to, what their plans are, talk about life, you know, connect with people. That is what friendship is all about, no? Here is your assignment, over the holiday weekend, call up a friend whom you have talked to in a while and see how they are doing. If they don't answer,leave them a voicemail. At least they will know someone cares what is going on in their life.
Since this will probably be my last post until after Thanksgiving, I guess I should include a list of things I am thankful for:
1. & 2. & 3. (in no particular order) Family (including my bunny), friends and my boyfriend
4. The support I receive from the above mentioned in my educational pursuits
5. Turkey
6. The opportunities I've had (and hopefully will again have) to travel
7. Rainy days when I need to study
8. The fact that the guy who is vacuuming the carpets in the library while I type will EVENTUALLY stop.
9. He stopped.
10. Having a job
11. Being able to think for myself and know when I am right and when I am wrong (most of the time)
12. Dive bars
13. Dive pizza places
14. Road trips
15. New friends that I am making in school
16. All of my friends who are mothers and fathers that are raising some awesome little bad asses to be smarter than we were
17. Prime numbers
18. Forgiveness
19. Patience
20. Being able to enjoy the fall weather and the changing of seasons
Obviously I could go on for hours of things I am thankful for since I am getting to a pretty good point in my life and I am feeling optimistic. And really, what more can you ask for?
"Some people are always grumbling
because roses have thorns;
I am thankful
that thorns have roses. "~Alphonse Karr
"Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so, let us all be thankful."
~ The Buddha
*To see examples of my attempts at short story writing, feel free to message / comment a request.
** If the friend to whom I am referring is reading this, I know you didn't mean anything by any of this. It just struck me as an interesting social commentary on the whole friendship schema that exists today. Also, if you think I referred to you in anyway too directly (I tried hard not to), let me know and I will edit the post accordingly.
*** Since only my friends seem to read this anyway, if you want some details on my get together Thursday night, let me know. Nothing big, but anyone who wants to join certainly can.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Bridesmaid To Be
Have you ever been in a wedding? Not me, not yet anyway. I am very happy to be sharing in the special day of two of my best friends in less than one year. I am not, however, happy to be spotlighted in so many special pictures that will be in their photo albums FOREVER. So, something needs to change; mainly, me.
I'm not in the best shape of my life by any means. I don't think I have EVER been in the best shape of my life. I just never worked out much, except maybe for a year or two in college. Sports and group activities in general were not my thing in my primary school days; I was shy and felt out of my comfort zone doing group things with people I didn't know. In high school I did walk and ride my bike a lot, besides I was a vegetarian bordering on anorexia, so I was pretty thin. My first couple years of college I actually lost a couple pounds and worked out somewhat regularly. And then... 21 happened. Of course, it wasn't just being 21. After all, I did drink a fair amount before I was legal. But at the same time I became of age I also got a job at a pizza place and being hungover most days there, I didn't make the best meal choices.
So now I am on a quest, a quest to look damn hot on my friends' wedding days. I've got some beautiful friends to stand next to and I would like to be able to hold my own in the pictures. But where to begin?
Yesterday I started a food journal. Writing everything you eat down is supposed to help you realize the kinds of food choices you are making. I find that writing everything down forces me to make BETTER food choices. Who wants to admit they ate half a bag of Oreo's? (not that I have done that... recently) Luckily, circumstances are making it a bit easier to make healthy food decisions; I'm broke, therefore eating out is not so much of an option. Eating out can be super detrimental to eating well. When I calculate calories to stuff I am making at home, I am always shocked at how quickly they add up. I can only imagine what happens when I leave it up to some kid working the grill at an AppleBee's or something.
Eating well is only one part, albeit a hard part. The other part is exercising. I like exercising, when I am motivated. Today I went for my first power walk! I felt kind of like an old lady, but given my lack of working out in the past three or four months and the fact that I am still getting over the congestion of a cold, I didn't want to push myself so hard that I won't do it again tomorrow. I felt good when I got home, more energized and happy to have gotten out and get some fresh air. Since I only work part time, I find myself in the house a lot, presumably to do my never ending homework. Even when I have plenty inside to keep me busy, it gets kind of depressing sitting around while everyone else is running around at work or doing errands and what not. So, hopefully walking will turn into jogging and I'll add some distance every day. My wonderful boyfriend also has some weights he will bring home so that I can work that into my work out routine.
Finally, the alcohol thing. I like to drink. Who doesn't? The bad thing is that drinking is LOADED with empty calories. I mean, I would be ashamed to admit how many calories I have drank in one night at a bar or a friend's house. Plus, when I drink, I smoke and I am also trying to quit smoking. It seems that booze is a detriment to my two goals of slimming down and giving up the nicotine lifestyle, so I have to abstain. I have been saying that for the past couple weeks with limited success. Maybe, as with my food journal, now that I have written it down I will make it come true.
So here is a question: am I taking on too much trying to change my eating habits, add exercise, abstain from alcohol and nix out cigarettes from my life? Sure these are all good things, but am I going to burn myself out and revert back quicker than if I tackled one thing at a time? I've always been a kind of all-or-nothing person, but that clearly hasn't gotten me to a point that I am happy with. Feel free to share opinion or advice.
"The greatest wealth is health" ~ Virgil
I'm not in the best shape of my life by any means. I don't think I have EVER been in the best shape of my life. I just never worked out much, except maybe for a year or two in college. Sports and group activities in general were not my thing in my primary school days; I was shy and felt out of my comfort zone doing group things with people I didn't know. In high school I did walk and ride my bike a lot, besides I was a vegetarian bordering on anorexia, so I was pretty thin. My first couple years of college I actually lost a couple pounds and worked out somewhat regularly. And then... 21 happened. Of course, it wasn't just being 21. After all, I did drink a fair amount before I was legal. But at the same time I became of age I also got a job at a pizza place and being hungover most days there, I didn't make the best meal choices.
So now I am on a quest, a quest to look damn hot on my friends' wedding days. I've got some beautiful friends to stand next to and I would like to be able to hold my own in the pictures. But where to begin?
Yesterday I started a food journal. Writing everything you eat down is supposed to help you realize the kinds of food choices you are making. I find that writing everything down forces me to make BETTER food choices. Who wants to admit they ate half a bag of Oreo's? (not that I have done that... recently) Luckily, circumstances are making it a bit easier to make healthy food decisions; I'm broke, therefore eating out is not so much of an option. Eating out can be super detrimental to eating well. When I calculate calories to stuff I am making at home, I am always shocked at how quickly they add up. I can only imagine what happens when I leave it up to some kid working the grill at an AppleBee's or something.
Eating well is only one part, albeit a hard part. The other part is exercising. I like exercising, when I am motivated. Today I went for my first power walk! I felt kind of like an old lady, but given my lack of working out in the past three or four months and the fact that I am still getting over the congestion of a cold, I didn't want to push myself so hard that I won't do it again tomorrow. I felt good when I got home, more energized and happy to have gotten out and get some fresh air. Since I only work part time, I find myself in the house a lot, presumably to do my never ending homework. Even when I have plenty inside to keep me busy, it gets kind of depressing sitting around while everyone else is running around at work or doing errands and what not. So, hopefully walking will turn into jogging and I'll add some distance every day. My wonderful boyfriend also has some weights he will bring home so that I can work that into my work out routine.
Finally, the alcohol thing. I like to drink. Who doesn't? The bad thing is that drinking is LOADED with empty calories. I mean, I would be ashamed to admit how many calories I have drank in one night at a bar or a friend's house. Plus, when I drink, I smoke and I am also trying to quit smoking. It seems that booze is a detriment to my two goals of slimming down and giving up the nicotine lifestyle, so I have to abstain. I have been saying that for the past couple weeks with limited success. Maybe, as with my food journal, now that I have written it down I will make it come true.
So here is a question: am I taking on too much trying to change my eating habits, add exercise, abstain from alcohol and nix out cigarettes from my life? Sure these are all good things, but am I going to burn myself out and revert back quicker than if I tackled one thing at a time? I've always been a kind of all-or-nothing person, but that clearly hasn't gotten me to a point that I am happy with. Feel free to share opinion or advice.
"The greatest wealth is health" ~ Virgil
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Reasons People Are Silly... #1
Please don't take the following post as THE number one reason people are silly; this is just my first time posting on the subject. There will definitely be more on this subject in the future.
I was cleaning my kitchen today, a task which required much disposing of recyclables. I like to recycle and feel like I should be doing more. I would love to have seven separate containers for various types of paper and plastic and such, and to have a compost pile in my backyard. Unfortunately, I live in an apartment and, to be honest, I need to do more research on what my recycling company accepts.
As I was doing my chores, I got to thinking that our country really blows on how it handles recycling. I don't know why this isn't a more important topic in our society. We could hypothetically end up in a situation like in Wall-E; the planet covered in garbage with nowhere for us to go but float around space for a while. Of course I don't ACTUALLY think that will happen. I do think we will hurl massive trash balls into space hoping they will just 'go away' with no future repercussions. As a seasoned problem-haver, I know these things don't ever fix themselves.
Anyway, I was wondering why recycling isn't mandatory everywhere (it was in West Chester, a great move on the town's part given the massive amount of beer and liquor bottles being discarded every day) and why people shouldn't be fined for failing to recycle. This lead me to remember my notion that people will go to greater lengths to avoid a punishment than to reap a reward. We are a lazy country in some respects. I'm not saying Americans don't work hard or anything; some do, some don't, same as anywhere. But I do think that overall, people will not go out of their way much for their own benefit, whereas they never want to be put in a position of being told they did something wrong. Sort of a western version of not wanting to lose face.
One example of this is at the grocery store. The economy is bad, food prices are rising, but everyone still has to eat, has to shop. So, places like Aldi and Bottom Dollar are thriving, boasting affordable, quality groceries. A friend was explaining these stores to me, detailing the ways in which they keep the prices low. One, is that they do not provide bags. They DO have bags available, but they charge five cents a bag to encourage you to bring your own.
Novel idea?
Well, sure. However, plenty of grocery stores reimburse customers for bringing their own bags. How much, you ask? Wouldn't you know... five cents! So, in effect, it is the same thing. The wording is different, but the concept is the same: bring your bag, save five cents. I will say that when I use re-usable bags I tend to shove more stuff in them, thereby using fewer bags and receiving less of a rebate than I might be charged for purchasing bags, but I think that is beside the point. The point is... people are silly.
I remember my friend being thoroughly unimpressed with the information I presented. Saving five cents for bringing your own bag is trivial, but being CHARGED five cents for a bag is unforgivable. I guess it makes sense.
Grocery stores that aim to provide cheaper alternatives for food are a great idea. I am a big fan of cooking and any way to encourage more people to cook at home I see as a positive. I just can never forget that these are places of business and they will always find ways to manipulate your consumer-centered brain. Especially when all it takes is five cents.
Reasons People Are Silly:
1. Being manipulated by semantics.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
I was cleaning my kitchen today, a task which required much disposing of recyclables. I like to recycle and feel like I should be doing more. I would love to have seven separate containers for various types of paper and plastic and such, and to have a compost pile in my backyard. Unfortunately, I live in an apartment and, to be honest, I need to do more research on what my recycling company accepts.
As I was doing my chores, I got to thinking that our country really blows on how it handles recycling. I don't know why this isn't a more important topic in our society. We could hypothetically end up in a situation like in Wall-E; the planet covered in garbage with nowhere for us to go but float around space for a while. Of course I don't ACTUALLY think that will happen. I do think we will hurl massive trash balls into space hoping they will just 'go away' with no future repercussions. As a seasoned problem-haver, I know these things don't ever fix themselves.
Anyway, I was wondering why recycling isn't mandatory everywhere (it was in West Chester, a great move on the town's part given the massive amount of beer and liquor bottles being discarded every day) and why people shouldn't be fined for failing to recycle. This lead me to remember my notion that people will go to greater lengths to avoid a punishment than to reap a reward. We are a lazy country in some respects. I'm not saying Americans don't work hard or anything; some do, some don't, same as anywhere. But I do think that overall, people will not go out of their way much for their own benefit, whereas they never want to be put in a position of being told they did something wrong. Sort of a western version of not wanting to lose face.
One example of this is at the grocery store. The economy is bad, food prices are rising, but everyone still has to eat, has to shop. So, places like Aldi and Bottom Dollar are thriving, boasting affordable, quality groceries. A friend was explaining these stores to me, detailing the ways in which they keep the prices low. One, is that they do not provide bags. They DO have bags available, but they charge five cents a bag to encourage you to bring your own.
Novel idea?
Well, sure. However, plenty of grocery stores reimburse customers for bringing their own bags. How much, you ask? Wouldn't you know... five cents! So, in effect, it is the same thing. The wording is different, but the concept is the same: bring your bag, save five cents. I will say that when I use re-usable bags I tend to shove more stuff in them, thereby using fewer bags and receiving less of a rebate than I might be charged for purchasing bags, but I think that is beside the point. The point is... people are silly.
I remember my friend being thoroughly unimpressed with the information I presented. Saving five cents for bringing your own bag is trivial, but being CHARGED five cents for a bag is unforgivable. I guess it makes sense.
Grocery stores that aim to provide cheaper alternatives for food are a great idea. I am a big fan of cooking and any way to encourage more people to cook at home I see as a positive. I just can never forget that these are places of business and they will always find ways to manipulate your consumer-centered brain. Especially when all it takes is five cents.
Reasons People Are Silly:
1. Being manipulated by semantics.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Molly's and Mid-terms
Forgive me, few readers, for not writing more frequently. (I love alliteration) Besides being busy (see?), I have been lazy and a bit overwhelmed with life, I guess, and to write on here would mean to confirm how crazy shit has been. Since I last wrote I have started a new job, started my first full time semester of graduate school and moved into a new apartment. Those are the main things, and they all occurred within roughly two weeks of each other and I am still playing catch up.
Now to catch YOU up... my new job is at Molly Maguire's. It is an Irish pub and I will not say anything more in case people I work with (or worse, for) read this. I'm not saying I like it or dislike it, I just work there.
My new apartment is in... ahh, nevermind. I am sure you couldn't care less where I live. And if you could, I don't want you to. But, I do like it; it has a nice little sun room on the front with large windows, which after spending about 8 months living underground, is freakin' sweet. I spend a lot of time in this room and it makes me feel healthy and creative. I am sitting here now.
Grad school is... intense. The workload for two of my classes is completely manageable, but the third is a bit over my head at times. I tend to grasp concepts better than I think I do, which means I usually end up doing pretty well, but I stress myself out all semester, usually over nothing important. Sometimes after I offer my opinion or theory I really want to ask the teacher and fellow students if I sound "smart". I know I shouldn't need such reassurance or coddling from others, but I am still new to the game and not quite as confident as I wish I was. I am also still trying to recognize when other people are sounding smart and original, or just using large words to mask (consciously or not) that they are full of shit. Sometimes that is easy to point out, but some people are REALLY good at it. I have been honing my skills on that one very years now, and I think I am starting to get it. I really can be quite naive sometimes, though.
I can't write too much for now, as I am in the middle of mid-terms and was only using my lack of attention to my blog as a distraction from my actual work. Do expect to see more from me now, though. I realize that I am going to be doing a lot of writing for school and regardless of what kind of writing I do, practice makes perfect. Plus, I have noticed that I am getting flustered with life and rather than take it out on my boyfriend, I am going to try and work out some of my frustrations here. I think that is healthier.
One last thing, unrelated to the rest of the blog: on Sunday October 16, 2011, the world lost a great guy, Dann Manela. He was a friend of mine and the significant other to my dear friend, Maureen Griffis. He was in a motorcycle accident that took his life. Since then, he and Maureen are all I have been able to think about, which is tough to deal with, although not nearly as tough as she has it now. My heart goes out to both them and their families and I hope I can be as good of a friend as she needs during this rough time.
I am not good with these things. When I experience loss and tragedy, I tend to clam up and not talk to anyone, so I have less practice at talking these things out. It is difficult to ever feel like you are saying the right thing rather than the wrong, to feel that you have any right to comment one way or the other since I have no experience like this to compare. Regardless, I'm thinking of you, Mo, all the time, and hoping that you will get through this alright. You are strong, so I know you will, I just wish you didn't have to.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." ~From a headstone in Ireland
Now to catch YOU up... my new job is at Molly Maguire's. It is an Irish pub and I will not say anything more in case people I work with (or worse, for) read this. I'm not saying I like it or dislike it, I just work there.
My new apartment is in... ahh, nevermind. I am sure you couldn't care less where I live. And if you could, I don't want you to. But, I do like it; it has a nice little sun room on the front with large windows, which after spending about 8 months living underground, is freakin' sweet. I spend a lot of time in this room and it makes me feel healthy and creative. I am sitting here now.
Grad school is... intense. The workload for two of my classes is completely manageable, but the third is a bit over my head at times. I tend to grasp concepts better than I think I do, which means I usually end up doing pretty well, but I stress myself out all semester, usually over nothing important. Sometimes after I offer my opinion or theory I really want to ask the teacher and fellow students if I sound "smart". I know I shouldn't need such reassurance or coddling from others, but I am still new to the game and not quite as confident as I wish I was. I am also still trying to recognize when other people are sounding smart and original, or just using large words to mask (consciously or not) that they are full of shit. Sometimes that is easy to point out, but some people are REALLY good at it. I have been honing my skills on that one very years now, and I think I am starting to get it. I really can be quite naive sometimes, though.
I can't write too much for now, as I am in the middle of mid-terms and was only using my lack of attention to my blog as a distraction from my actual work. Do expect to see more from me now, though. I realize that I am going to be doing a lot of writing for school and regardless of what kind of writing I do, practice makes perfect. Plus, I have noticed that I am getting flustered with life and rather than take it out on my boyfriend, I am going to try and work out some of my frustrations here. I think that is healthier.
One last thing, unrelated to the rest of the blog: on Sunday October 16, 2011, the world lost a great guy, Dann Manela. He was a friend of mine and the significant other to my dear friend, Maureen Griffis. He was in a motorcycle accident that took his life. Since then, he and Maureen are all I have been able to think about, which is tough to deal with, although not nearly as tough as she has it now. My heart goes out to both them and their families and I hope I can be as good of a friend as she needs during this rough time.
I am not good with these things. When I experience loss and tragedy, I tend to clam up and not talk to anyone, so I have less practice at talking these things out. It is difficult to ever feel like you are saying the right thing rather than the wrong, to feel that you have any right to comment one way or the other since I have no experience like this to compare. Regardless, I'm thinking of you, Mo, all the time, and hoping that you will get through this alright. You are strong, so I know you will, I just wish you didn't have to.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." ~From a headstone in Ireland
Friday, August 12, 2011
Cleaning Up My Accounts
Time for another chapter in the story of me to close. For the past six months I have been under the employment of a Canadian company, the Yellow Pages Group. Sound familiar? Yep, it is pretty much the same thing as the Yellow Pages of our country. I would describe my job to you, but I'd feel like that guy in Office Space trying to explain the idiosyncracies of the Y2K computer fiasco. My job is only slightly more interesting than that and I am happy to be done with it.
One funny thing about my job, or my whole office rather, is that we are outsourced. Isn't it funny to think of being an outsourced American? And we are outsourced in every sense of the word: we are underpaid, have crappier facilities, worse benefits packages, and our opinions of how the work should be handled are generally ignored. Now, I am sure that the third world countries we outsource to probably have it worse than we do, but you get the idea. When I make phone calls to our customers in Canada I have to try and avoid answering the question of where I am from, due to previous outrage by "pro-Canada" customers. That's right, Canadians can hate seeing Canadian jobs going to Americans, just as some Americans don't like seeing American jobs go to Indians or anyone else outside of the country. There is a popular backpacker phrase that you see on lots of grungy traveler's t-shirts: "Same, same, but different." The older I get, the more I get that phrase.
So what is my opinion of office work now that I have spent 1/50 of my life working in one? Sucks, to be honest. I am not a fan of doing the same thing, over and over, day after day, sitting in the same cubicle, writing up the same reports, and, worst of all, staring at a computer ALL day. I don't even like computers. Why do think I write so sporadically on my blog? I have lots of thoughts, I just have a hard time bringing myself to sit down at my computer at home after being here all day. Hopefully now that I won't be doing this any more, I will find more motivation to write to you guys out there in internet land.
I know that in every profession you find people that hate their lives, and maybe it is the fluorescent lighting or the excess grays and blues and whites of the office decor, but man, some people here just look so lifeless and miserable. I don't do data entry, but that is what the majority of the office is dedicated to, and I could see how years of that kind of mindless work could be somewhat draining. Maybe I really shouldn't generalize, though. It just makes me so sad to see people who are always angry, or annoyed, complaining endlessly about the people who spill sugar near the coffee machine or don't refill the ice trays. Valid complaints though they may be, I just don't want something like that to ruin my day.
So now I am pursuing my Master's degree with the hopes of maybe teaching highschool English, while also trying to get some writing out there. I have mentioned to people before that I hate the politics and beaurocracy that go with working in a corporate environment as I do now. They usually follow that with, "And you want to be a TEACHER?" Ok, I KNOW there is a ton of BS you have to deal with, especially in the public school system, ESPECIALLY in a crappy economy, but that is fine. I have never been one to take the easy road (foolish as that has been on occasion) and I don't mind putting up with crap if it means I can at least try to represent the needs of students. I think it totally sucks that some kids are screwed from the start because their school has no funding, exhausted teachers and whatever other obstacles kids just shouldn't have to deal with at that age. But I digress, education is a blog post all on its own, one I will address sometime later when I have a more educated opinion on the matter.
For now, I will be happily serving food and drink to the patrons of Molly Maguire's, a pseudo-Irish pub in lovely Lansdale, while I study and try to figure out a life for me and my wonderful boyfriend. It is 11:15 am on Friday the 12th of August. I am cleaning up my open accounts, manning the phone lines while my soon-to-be-former colleagues are in training all day, and listening to bagpipe music on YouTube (don't ask why, I have no real answer). My last day in an office. Feels about the same as my first.
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." ~ Rabindranath Tagore
One funny thing about my job, or my whole office rather, is that we are outsourced. Isn't it funny to think of being an outsourced American? And we are outsourced in every sense of the word: we are underpaid, have crappier facilities, worse benefits packages, and our opinions of how the work should be handled are generally ignored. Now, I am sure that the third world countries we outsource to probably have it worse than we do, but you get the idea. When I make phone calls to our customers in Canada I have to try and avoid answering the question of where I am from, due to previous outrage by "pro-Canada" customers. That's right, Canadians can hate seeing Canadian jobs going to Americans, just as some Americans don't like seeing American jobs go to Indians or anyone else outside of the country. There is a popular backpacker phrase that you see on lots of grungy traveler's t-shirts: "Same, same, but different." The older I get, the more I get that phrase.
So what is my opinion of office work now that I have spent 1/50 of my life working in one? Sucks, to be honest. I am not a fan of doing the same thing, over and over, day after day, sitting in the same cubicle, writing up the same reports, and, worst of all, staring at a computer ALL day. I don't even like computers. Why do think I write so sporadically on my blog? I have lots of thoughts, I just have a hard time bringing myself to sit down at my computer at home after being here all day. Hopefully now that I won't be doing this any more, I will find more motivation to write to you guys out there in internet land.
I know that in every profession you find people that hate their lives, and maybe it is the fluorescent lighting or the excess grays and blues and whites of the office decor, but man, some people here just look so lifeless and miserable. I don't do data entry, but that is what the majority of the office is dedicated to, and I could see how years of that kind of mindless work could be somewhat draining. Maybe I really shouldn't generalize, though. It just makes me so sad to see people who are always angry, or annoyed, complaining endlessly about the people who spill sugar near the coffee machine or don't refill the ice trays. Valid complaints though they may be, I just don't want something like that to ruin my day.
So now I am pursuing my Master's degree with the hopes of maybe teaching highschool English, while also trying to get some writing out there. I have mentioned to people before that I hate the politics and beaurocracy that go with working in a corporate environment as I do now. They usually follow that with, "And you want to be a TEACHER?" Ok, I KNOW there is a ton of BS you have to deal with, especially in the public school system, ESPECIALLY in a crappy economy, but that is fine. I have never been one to take the easy road (foolish as that has been on occasion) and I don't mind putting up with crap if it means I can at least try to represent the needs of students. I think it totally sucks that some kids are screwed from the start because their school has no funding, exhausted teachers and whatever other obstacles kids just shouldn't have to deal with at that age. But I digress, education is a blog post all on its own, one I will address sometime later when I have a more educated opinion on the matter.
For now, I will be happily serving food and drink to the patrons of Molly Maguire's, a pseudo-Irish pub in lovely Lansdale, while I study and try to figure out a life for me and my wonderful boyfriend. It is 11:15 am on Friday the 12th of August. I am cleaning up my open accounts, manning the phone lines while my soon-to-be-former colleagues are in training all day, and listening to bagpipe music on YouTube (don't ask why, I have no real answer). My last day in an office. Feels about the same as my first.
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." ~ Rabindranath Tagore
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Acceptance
Deadlines are totally NOT my thing. No matter what the deadline is, I have a pretty hard time sticking to it. I prefer to work at my own, leisurely pace. Don't we all? Maybe it is because I was raised more or less as an only child and I am used to doing things the way I want. Maybe it is because I consider myself an artist (with words at least since I can't draw a straight line to save my life) and I simply can't be done until the inspiration in my head tells the work is finished. Maybe I am just lazy. Yep, probably that last one.
Well, West Chester University didn't seem to mind me missing their application deadline and I have been officially accepted into the English Masters program for fall 2011! Woo! Higher learning! Time to party! Oh, wait. That was my undergrad studies. Graduate school I actually have to study and learn and not spend the whole time trying to find a good kegger to spend my Friday (or Tuesday) night. Hmm, I guess I'll go anyway.
I am excited to get back into school. I feel like I could have done so much more with years in the Bachelor program. I got so swept up in the whole college thing, making friends, going to parties, carving out my own little life in West Chester, that I kind of forget to put my whole self into school. Now I won't be living in West Chester and grad school is bit too important (and expensive) to screw around with. I'm paying my way through grad school, hopefully without the use of student loans, and I intend on making it worth my while. The job market blows and I need some good credentials if I am going to live up to my dreams of falling into the perfect career that pays me what I am worth to do something I love. Ok, I know that is almost certainly NOT going to happen, but hey, if I aim high, maybe I can end up somewhere in the middle? I could be OK with that.
I don't have SUPER high expectations for my life, but I do have some standards I would like to keep. First, I need to be intelligent and well read. I know school and learning is not for everyone, but it is for me. When I used to do poorly in school my dad would yell at me and tell me I am not lucky enough to have the excuse of being stupid to explain my bad grades. He was right. I am not stupid. I am actually pretty smart. Just, as I mentioned earlier, lazy. Well, that is a habit I am trying to break. In the past I would slack on my homework to hang out with my friends. I was always afraid if I didn't see my friends as frequently as I could they would forget about me and find someone better to hang out with. I am now a bit older and understand that usually doesn't happen. And if it does, good riddance to those lousy friends. I know my real friends will understand that I am busy with school and when I finish my homework early or am on holiday break we can party it up. I am sure I will need it.
Another thing I need to do with my life is travel. I love hanging out around my house and around town. I can be a real homebody most of the time and be fine with that. Tom likes to garden and do yard work and I like to clean and keep a nice place. BUT, not all the time. Neither of us want a big house. We want a small, easy to care for, affordable house that does not run us dry because we need to travel. Maybe not every year, but I need to go back to Thailand to visit some friends sometime. Oh yeah, we have spent some months in South East Asia. That is a story for another time, though. The point is, it is awesome over there and I would move in a heart beat if I didn't love my family and friends so much. You guys really suck, you know?
I want to be able to give my kid(s) a good life, too. Now, one child sounds like enough to me, but I leave room open for a second one to be, hopefully, adopted. I am a woman and of course I have that silly maternal feeling that just bugs me to have a child of my own. And one of those would be plenty. If I decided that I wanted a second child, they would definitely have to be adopted. It is a real shame how many kids are born into this world and left with nothing before they even get started. I can't save the world, but helping out one kid by bringing them into our family would feel pretty good I think. And I don't want more than one or two children because I want to provide everything I can for them and I just don't feel like I could provide enough attention and/ or money to more than that. Like I said, I can be kind of lazy. And while I hope that I am not a lazy mother, I still need some down time. More than one or two kids and I can't imagine you get much of that. Even with just one kid I am sure you don't get much down time at all. I hear they are a pretty full time job.
In summary, a halfway decent career, a modest house, a chance to leave the country once in a while and 1-2 children. That is what I would like to aim for in life. I don't think that is too much, right? Well, step one: get into grad school. Check.
"Where your talents and the needs of the world cross lies your calling." ~ Aristotle
Let's hope so, bra.
Well, West Chester University didn't seem to mind me missing their application deadline and I have been officially accepted into the English Masters program for fall 2011! Woo! Higher learning! Time to party! Oh, wait. That was my undergrad studies. Graduate school I actually have to study and learn and not spend the whole time trying to find a good kegger to spend my Friday (or Tuesday) night. Hmm, I guess I'll go anyway.
I am excited to get back into school. I feel like I could have done so much more with years in the Bachelor program. I got so swept up in the whole college thing, making friends, going to parties, carving out my own little life in West Chester, that I kind of forget to put my whole self into school. Now I won't be living in West Chester and grad school is bit too important (and expensive) to screw around with. I'm paying my way through grad school, hopefully without the use of student loans, and I intend on making it worth my while. The job market blows and I need some good credentials if I am going to live up to my dreams of falling into the perfect career that pays me what I am worth to do something I love. Ok, I know that is almost certainly NOT going to happen, but hey, if I aim high, maybe I can end up somewhere in the middle? I could be OK with that.
I don't have SUPER high expectations for my life, but I do have some standards I would like to keep. First, I need to be intelligent and well read. I know school and learning is not for everyone, but it is for me. When I used to do poorly in school my dad would yell at me and tell me I am not lucky enough to have the excuse of being stupid to explain my bad grades. He was right. I am not stupid. I am actually pretty smart. Just, as I mentioned earlier, lazy. Well, that is a habit I am trying to break. In the past I would slack on my homework to hang out with my friends. I was always afraid if I didn't see my friends as frequently as I could they would forget about me and find someone better to hang out with. I am now a bit older and understand that usually doesn't happen. And if it does, good riddance to those lousy friends. I know my real friends will understand that I am busy with school and when I finish my homework early or am on holiday break we can party it up. I am sure I will need it.
Another thing I need to do with my life is travel. I love hanging out around my house and around town. I can be a real homebody most of the time and be fine with that. Tom likes to garden and do yard work and I like to clean and keep a nice place. BUT, not all the time. Neither of us want a big house. We want a small, easy to care for, affordable house that does not run us dry because we need to travel. Maybe not every year, but I need to go back to Thailand to visit some friends sometime. Oh yeah, we have spent some months in South East Asia. That is a story for another time, though. The point is, it is awesome over there and I would move in a heart beat if I didn't love my family and friends so much. You guys really suck, you know?
I want to be able to give my kid(s) a good life, too. Now, one child sounds like enough to me, but I leave room open for a second one to be, hopefully, adopted. I am a woman and of course I have that silly maternal feeling that just bugs me to have a child of my own. And one of those would be plenty. If I decided that I wanted a second child, they would definitely have to be adopted. It is a real shame how many kids are born into this world and left with nothing before they even get started. I can't save the world, but helping out one kid by bringing them into our family would feel pretty good I think. And I don't want more than one or two children because I want to provide everything I can for them and I just don't feel like I could provide enough attention and/ or money to more than that. Like I said, I can be kind of lazy. And while I hope that I am not a lazy mother, I still need some down time. More than one or two kids and I can't imagine you get much of that. Even with just one kid I am sure you don't get much down time at all. I hear they are a pretty full time job.
In summary, a halfway decent career, a modest house, a chance to leave the country once in a while and 1-2 children. That is what I would like to aim for in life. I don't think that is too much, right? Well, step one: get into grad school. Check.
"Where your talents and the needs of the world cross lies your calling." ~ Aristotle
Let's hope so, bra.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Post Adolescent, Pre Geriatric
Real adult. What does that even mean? If you came here looking for the answer, then keep on blog browsing, because I don't have the answer. In fact, I don't even know if that is a valid question. Is there such a thing as a real adult? Are their certain incontrovertible characteristics that qualify you as having crossed that line into adulthood?
And why do I care? I always thought adulthood just kind of happened. I pretty much thought my life would just take shape to be the glamorous, yet humble, existence that I was always meant for. When I was 18, I would be whisked away by higher education to the ritzy and intellectual circles in New York, or the sunny, 1969-era San Francisco. That didn't happen. By 22 I figured I would be published, wooing the literary circles of the country with my highly witty and insightful, yet totally accessible, musings. Uh, yeah, still working on that one. By my ripe old age of 25 I... well, I guess I hadn't really planned that far ahead. I imagined I would have an awesome job of my choosing (though what that job may have been changed to frequently to record accurately) and I would most likely live in a small, but still swank apartment that I shared with my equally successful and interesting roommate or boyfriend. That was my life plan.
So life isn't exactly on track. However, I can't blame anyone but myself. I never applied to any schools in California and thinking I would get into NYU was a pipe dream. You have kiss high school's ass to get into a school like NYU (or be loaded or famous) and I didn't do anything beyond showing up for class. And I didn't do that all the time. It's three years past when I should have been published by and except for submitting a few things (unedited and last minute) to some writing contests in school, I haven't exactly tried very hard.
I'm 25 now. And the plan is still a little blurry, but it is definitely taking some definition. I do live with super awesome and totally interesting boyfriend. But we live in his dad's basement. Now, it's a nice basement, don't get me wrong. And we live here by choice. We both work and could easily have ourselves a small, if not swank, apartment. I think his dad likes us being here, though, and it's really hard to turn down an opportunity to save some money and try to figure out what the hell we are going to do now. I still live a little closer to Lansdale, my hometown, than I would like, and a little closer to the poverty line than I would like, and a little farther from a Pulitzer than I would like, but all in all life isn't bad.
Anyway, I am getting off topic. The original point was that having turned 25 has given me so much food for thought that I am nearly sick to my stomach worrying about what I should be doing at this point in my life. 25. That's a hell of a number, and I am not saying it's THAT old, but it's the oldest I've ever been. And it's a lot older than when I started to become the person that I am starting to be, which I would put at roughly 12 or 13. You know, those early adolescent years where you start to wonder about who you are and why you aren't good enough. I imagine that starts even younger for kids now, which is a shame. All I know right now is that if I am an adult then I gots to get working on getting some things in order.
I won't get too into whining about my quarter life crisis or making empty promises about all the things that I am doing to make my life everything that I know it has the potential to be. That wouldn't be very interesting for you to read and it wouldn't be all that interesting for me to write, since it gets pretty repetitive.
Instead, you can read my reflections on life and this thing called growing up. Or being a grown up? I never got around to trying to define this adult thing, but there is time. I tend to ramble, but I will try to keep my thoughts here more or less cohesive, and hopefully somewhat relatable to anyone that wants to join in the blogging fun. Do people actually read these?
In case people DO actually read this, I will leave you with a quote to think on. I can only hope that one day I say something worthy of adding quotations around it.
"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing." ~ William Butler Yeats
And why do I care? I always thought adulthood just kind of happened. I pretty much thought my life would just take shape to be the glamorous, yet humble, existence that I was always meant for. When I was 18, I would be whisked away by higher education to the ritzy and intellectual circles in New York, or the sunny, 1969-era San Francisco. That didn't happen. By 22 I figured I would be published, wooing the literary circles of the country with my highly witty and insightful, yet totally accessible, musings. Uh, yeah, still working on that one. By my ripe old age of 25 I... well, I guess I hadn't really planned that far ahead. I imagined I would have an awesome job of my choosing (though what that job may have been changed to frequently to record accurately) and I would most likely live in a small, but still swank apartment that I shared with my equally successful and interesting roommate or boyfriend. That was my life plan.
So life isn't exactly on track. However, I can't blame anyone but myself. I never applied to any schools in California and thinking I would get into NYU was a pipe dream. You have kiss high school's ass to get into a school like NYU (or be loaded or famous) and I didn't do anything beyond showing up for class. And I didn't do that all the time. It's three years past when I should have been published by and except for submitting a few things (unedited and last minute) to some writing contests in school, I haven't exactly tried very hard.
I'm 25 now. And the plan is still a little blurry, but it is definitely taking some definition. I do live with super awesome and totally interesting boyfriend. But we live in his dad's basement. Now, it's a nice basement, don't get me wrong. And we live here by choice. We both work and could easily have ourselves a small, if not swank, apartment. I think his dad likes us being here, though, and it's really hard to turn down an opportunity to save some money and try to figure out what the hell we are going to do now. I still live a little closer to Lansdale, my hometown, than I would like, and a little closer to the poverty line than I would like, and a little farther from a Pulitzer than I would like, but all in all life isn't bad.
Anyway, I am getting off topic. The original point was that having turned 25 has given me so much food for thought that I am nearly sick to my stomach worrying about what I should be doing at this point in my life. 25. That's a hell of a number, and I am not saying it's THAT old, but it's the oldest I've ever been. And it's a lot older than when I started to become the person that I am starting to be, which I would put at roughly 12 or 13. You know, those early adolescent years where you start to wonder about who you are and why you aren't good enough. I imagine that starts even younger for kids now, which is a shame. All I know right now is that if I am an adult then I gots to get working on getting some things in order.
I won't get too into whining about my quarter life crisis or making empty promises about all the things that I am doing to make my life everything that I know it has the potential to be. That wouldn't be very interesting for you to read and it wouldn't be all that interesting for me to write, since it gets pretty repetitive.
Instead, you can read my reflections on life and this thing called growing up. Or being a grown up? I never got around to trying to define this adult thing, but there is time. I tend to ramble, but I will try to keep my thoughts here more or less cohesive, and hopefully somewhat relatable to anyone that wants to join in the blogging fun. Do people actually read these?
In case people DO actually read this, I will leave you with a quote to think on. I can only hope that one day I say something worthy of adding quotations around it.
"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing." ~ William Butler Yeats
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